Disclaimer: This was written when I was 28 … obviously a few years ago … I'm still single and have MANY personal faults … In hopes that it saves you from making the same 'bonehead' mistake as me ... I'm grateful to share the story below …
I had been thoroughly dating and searching for the right woman and was having a great deal of difficulty.
It literally seemed like every woman I dated ... had all sorts of issues and problems and was not an ideal candidate.
I have a very active dating life and was having success with women.
But they all just weren't right for me!
I was 28, using online dating websites.
Asking women out … I meet in person … ANYWHERE
And networking through family and friends to find a nice woman …
Then one day it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks … and my life changed forever.
I was reading a Jim Rohn book, one of the great personal development authors.
was reading about Jim's unique view on goal setting when it occurred to
me what the real problem was in my search for the right woman.
It was not the women I was choosing to date!
But instead it was ALL ME!
It was my view on finding the right woman.
I WAS ALWAYS FOCUSED ON THE NEGATIVES ABOUT WOMEN
would get together with a woman and we would start to get to know each
other, but almost IMMEDIATELY I would look for her faults!
The reasons she was NOT the right one!
At the time, I was casually dating two women (non-committed early stages).
And decided …
- One woman was too young for me, it was only a 4 year age gap.
- And the other woman, was too intellectual for me, she worked in mathematics and engineering.
THANK GOD I was lucky enough to see the light.
It was ALL MY FAULT!
Somehow, I was able to discover this in time and take steps to change myself.
So I could continue one of these amazing and ultimately best relationships of my life. (I thought at the time of writing this
Today … instead of looking for the faults and bad things about women … I DO MY BEST to look for the good.
And how she could be the right woman.
Once I shifted my view to focusing on the good qualities.
I was SHOCKED by how many MORE women found me attractive.
And the best part, how much more I enjoyed dating and getting to know women.
What kind of a way is it to go through life … Looking for the faults of a woman your dating? Or anyone's faults!
I will ALWAYS have more than enough faults of my own … to worry about.
With the woman things eventually worked out with (temporarily).
I shifted my focus to the fact that she was intelligent, a graduate student, very attractive, fun loving, and caring…
Jim Rohn calls my problem focusing on the minors instead of the majors in life.
Without this "aha" moment ... for me ... I would have continued for years to search desperately in all the wrong places.
able to appreciate the AMAZING things about women … Instead of just
looking for the reasons why she is NOT the right woman... IS A LOT MORE
If it is important for you to find the right woman. Then take this lesson the easy way ...from me, PLEASE.
You MUST focus on all the good things about every woman you date and not the bad things.
doesn't mean you should overlook deal breakers or red flags but it will
ensure that you don't miss out and let an amazing, beautiful woman slip
through your fingers.
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